Fighting The Fear of Failure As A Writer

Since deciding a month or so ago to get my act together and become the writer I've been complaining for years that I desperately want to be, I've suddenly realised why I've procrastinated for so long...because it turns out that I'm finding the actual writing process far more terrifying than the excuses I've been convincing myself of for so long! 

My biggest excuse for not writing would always be "I don't have time." The worst part is that sentence was normally followed up by "...I have to catch up on watching How I Met Your Mother on Netflix for the millionth time" or "there's no way I can write now with that pile of ironing just staring at me from the corner of the room." Needles to say, it was always something and it was so easy to convince myself that those weak excuses where justifiable. It's not that I never wrote...I wrote all the time and stories and characters were always popping into my head so that over the years I've piled up more notebooks of ideas than I have books on my bookshelf. But I found I would get so far into an idea and then dismiss it as rubbish and move on to something else. It's a common fear I'm starting to see loads of writers like myself saying on social media...its the fear of writing something terrible. It reminds me of the time I tried to learn to snowboard. I got all geared up and made my way excitedly to the top of the mountain (on the bunny hill I should add) fell over within 20 seconds and was so embarrassed that I refused to get up and try again. So here I am 7 years later with no published book to my name and definitely no hopes of being a professional snowboarder anytime soon 🤷‍♀️

But the difference between today me and 2013 me is that now each time I feel my self-doubt snowballing, I'm learning to brush myself off and carry on...no matter how terrible I am. I'll admit, it's not easy and I must have searched "Top tips for new writers" on Pinterest a couple dozen times already but actually, I have found a few really good tips that I've even written on sticky notes and attached to my desk so I can remind myself each time I start to slip. And the truth is, when I read back through some of those abandoned ideas and scribbles, I actually don't think half of them are that bad! 

I'm halfway through this blog post and already I'm wondering who wants to know about my self-doubt? Who is going to find this interesting? Why am I writing this? Well, there are two reasons. The first is for me. As with the Pinterest searches, I'm always looking for new ways to remind myself to carry on and not give up and maybe writing the words and having them out there for me to read at any time might work too. The second reason is that I've found that I actually prefer hearing these stories from other writers who are at the same level as me. I know published writers share their top tips of how they got to where they are and their methods must work because, well, they're where they are now. But hearing stories of people going through the same thing I am at the same time makes it feel a little less daunting. Like I'm not reaching for the impossible and other people are in the same boat as me. 

So this is me writing about my writing journey right now as it's happening and I have picked up a few handy tips for fighting the fear of failure which might help you if we are currently bobbing along in the same boat:

Time Yourself

I set a timer and give myself an allocated time to write. I tend to mix it up a bit depending on how I feel but I tend to go for 30-minute sprints. I try not to focus on how many words I'm writing because the point is to look at this at the end and see how much you got down. I'm always surprised and pretty impressed with myself by the end and tend not to worry about how bad the writing is, as I'm just pleased with myself for doing it. I can always go back later and edit it.  

That's What First Drafts Are For! 

One of the things that I annoy myself with and is probably the biggest reason why I never get anything finished it because I will write a sentence or a paragraph, read it back immediately and then instantly decide it's no good, delete it and then be left two steps back from where I was a couple seconds ago with no idea what to replace the deleted text with. I can't remember who said it but I read by someone on twitter that the whole point of a first draft is to just get down the first version of a story as it comes to you, no matter how bad it is and then once you've completed the first draft, you go back and edit. Obviously, I knew that editing was a whole separate part of the process but I now remind myself of it as I go along so if I write a sentence or paragraph and think...hmm, that's not quite right...I then think it's fine, it's the first draft and I can change it at the editing stage. It helps in so many ways because it stops me being so hard on myself and pushes me forward. 

Playing Soundscapes In My Headphones Whilst I Write 

Another thing that used to put me off sitting down to write is that I hate silence. It's not that I don't like being alone with my thoughts...I don't think I'd be able to call myself a writer if that were the case! But I honestly believe that sometimes silence can be the loudest noise of all. Does anyone else feel that way or is it just me?! The problem was, I would put the telly on to fill the silence but then get so distracted watching it that I'd get no writing done (no surprise there!) 

So I needed to fill the silence with something that would keep me focused on my writing. I've tried a couple of options and I am going to write a separate post on a little experiment I have undertaken soon, but the sound I have found works best for me are soundscapes. 

For my soundscapes, I use the Calm app which is one of my favourite apps of all time and is 100% worth the monthly subscription I pay on so many levels. If you don't have the app, basically they have a large selection of different music, melodies and sounds that help you to focus, relax, drift off to sleep etc. Honestly, it's amazing! The sound I find helps block out the silence best is the Washing Machine sound. It is so consistent and repetitive that it blends it to the background letting me focus fully on my writing. There are also so many other sounds that may work for you too like White Noise, City Rain and Babbling Brook. 

Not Writing Near A Window

This one surprised me as I was always jealous of all the Instagram pics I would see of people's writing spaces that looked out onto beautiful views of gardens or ocean views and would imagine sitting there, staring out of the window and having the view to help my imagination. But when a few weeks ago I turned my dressing table into a writing desk with it facing the window, I caught myself getting distracted by what was going on outside. To be fair, my window looks out onto the street with cars and people going by quite often so maybe it depends on what your view actually is. Now, if I sit down to write I close the blinds so that there's no visual distraction and my attention can be put fully on my screen or notebook. 

I hope this post might be of some help to some other writers like me. I'm always looking for more ways to improve my writing and if you agree with any of the above, or have other ways to fight the fear of failure, comment below and let me know your top tips. 

Thanks for Reading! X